Things I learned Today

Today was the first really cold day so far this fall. There is frost on the ground everywhere, even at 10 am when I have a chance to take the dog outside to pee for the 100th time this morning. She likes to pee, all.the.time.

I go out with my very fashionable crocs - don't hate. They are comfy and easy to slip on while preggo, or to throw laundry in the wash, or to run outside if you think your 3 year old may have finally had enough of the crazy here and tried to escape.

So back to taking the dog out. Usually she wants to pee out front, she has her preferences, who knows why. Probably so she can find random people and animals to bark at, and give everyone the idea that she is some psycho dog that might eat your children. Which, she is really nothing like that at all. As my hubby's brother says, "She sure is pretty, but not too smart." Poor dog. But she does eat lint, I'm just saying.

Anywho, I was feeling lazy and not wanting to deal with the crazy, so I took her out back. We have a bit of a hill leading to the backyard from the back of the house. So me, in my infinate wisdom, go walking down the hill in my fashionable crocs, and start to slip on the frost on the grass. 

To really give you an idea of how much of a spaz I looked, I started waving my arms in the air like a fish out of the water, and went into a deep knee lunge down the hill, with my back leg still at the top. I ended up doing some sort of a weird split, accompanied with my fancy arm flourishes; I must have looked something special. 

Meanwhile, the dog is stopped at the bottom of the hill, looking up at me, and I swear even she was shaking her head like, "WTF lady. And you are the one I have to rely on to eat and pee." Right. 

You would think after 28 years on the planet, I would learn not to go skipping down the hill in my fancy shoes that so clearly has frost on it. I mean, this coming from a girl that used to go "frost skiing" in elementary school when the field was filled with frost on the grass. 

For those who aren't in the know: Frost Skiing - When two friends grab one of your arms each, and you squat down and they drag you across the frosty grass. Yeah, we had fun times as kids. I know you are totally jealous of our kick ass skills. 

So lesson learned, do not frolic like a spaz down frost covered grassy hills, and scare your neighbors anymore than you already do.